I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
