Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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