If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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