Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
