Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
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Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.