I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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