I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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