This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
