Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"