those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
