No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.