3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis