i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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