Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you inspire me to be a worse person
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
