youre lurking in front of me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Will exercising make me less horny?
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