omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize