what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
