I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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