I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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