remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
