Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
