idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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