she smelled like a LAN party
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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