if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
