There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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