I'm gonna have a badass scar
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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