i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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