There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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