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We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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