Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
