he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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