Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
