whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
