Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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