So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Someone came in the potted fern
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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