your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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