I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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