Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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