She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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