just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
