pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
