Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
