I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
