Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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