what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
