i permit you to call me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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