i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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