I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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