I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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