can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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