So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
