Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just gift wrapped bread.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
