Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
