You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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