we're blogging at a bar
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
