If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
