There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
