Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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