shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
