Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
